40+ Husbands Who Like To Vent On The Internet Send Out Hilarious Tweets
Husbands and wives have unique relationships that are full of nuances and memorable moments. When these events occur, thanks to Twitter’s real-time access to their content, we can see them in real-time. These are some of the most hilarious tweets shared with us by husbands on Twitter.
The True Meaning
Marriage is a complex concept that can be construed in a variety of ways. For some, it entails identifying the person with whom you have the strongest connection and establishing a long-term commitment to them. That isn’t the only possible interpretation, either. Others, such as this husband, take a far more rational approach to marriage. Who are the people with whom you are most likely to enjoy spending time? With whom can you work out your financial obligations while hating everyone else?
Everyone Has Preferences
When most people are planning their wedding, they tend to focus on the romantic aspects and overlook the practical aspects. This is especially true if they have not previously shared a residence.
Everyone Has Preferences
Living with someone else is a great way to notice the small things you do every day about which others have strong feelings. You wouldn’t think there’d be much variation in placing milk on a fridge shelf. It’s understandable that this would come as such a shock.
Found Them
One of the advantages of living with a partner is that you have two people to keep track of everything. One spouse is almost certainly better at it than the other.
Found Them
To say the least, that is true in this husband’s case. They’ve even gotten to the point where he doesn’t have to say what he’s asking about because the exchanges are so brief. As if reading his mind, his wife is already prepared to respond.
The Long Con
There are times when you need to deliver a message with a bit of flair in order to make your point. Many husbands have expressed their feelings about their wives on Twitter.
The Long Con
This person believes their wife was communicating with them about the laundry. Giving someone a few missing socks from the laundry was, at the very least, an unusual gift. In either case, this would be a disappointing Christmas present exchange.
A Clever Trick
In an ideal world, husbands and wives are well acquainted with one another. That means that if one of the spouses requires assistance, they usually know when and how to ask for it.
A Clever Trick
This husband revealed that his wife devised a brilliant strategy for obtaining chips without having to get up. They first sent a message to their husband’s phone, causing it to ring in the other room. He was already up and ready to grab snacks on his way out by the time he got there.
An Honest Mistake
Husbands make honest mistakes from time to time. Other times, putting a little more thought into mundane tasks like selecting a snack can go a long way toward ensuring that everything stays in order.
An Honest Mistake
This husband admitted to eating all of the chips in the house by accident. His wife had apparently planned on including them as a snack in his packed lunches. It would have been a fine enough mistake if he hadn’t also eaten the spare snacks that were the alternate option.
Healthy Boundaries
There is no “I” in a team, as one cliche goes. Husbands like this one, on the other hand, have the ability to rewrite the phrase as necessary. The original saying’s moral is that you should never put yourself ahead of your teammates.
Healthy Boundaries
Still, when pizza is involved, who can blame husbands for not wanting to act as selflessly? It’s also healthy to set limits when it comes to things you enjoy, particularly pizza.
Breakfast of Champions
When it comes to young children, you can’t always blame husbands. It could be a case of the underdog winning the breakfast battle, as in this sad story. That is to say, you couldn’t blame them if this husband’s story was true.
Breakfast of Champions
He claimed that he was casually eating chips for breakfast when his own toddler robbed him of them. However, we doubt his wife believed the story and absolved him of responsibility for their daughter’s unhealthy breakfast.
Kids Can Be Mean
It isn’t always a result of being a husband when it comes to husbands’ problems. When it comes down to it, even the children they parent can be harsh at times.
Kids Can Be Mean
This person only cares about ensuring that his children eat a nutritious meal. Unfortunately, the harshest food critics on the planet are young children. We can understand why this father and husband would want a break from the scrutiny.
Defining a Difference
There is frequently a distinction between how someone interacts with their more casual relationships and how they interact with their partner after they marry them. Some of these differences are highlighted in these tweets from husbands.
Defining a Difference
While there are several things that distinguish the two, this is a fairly comprehensive list. He emphasizes the fact that when you first start dating someone, you will most likely want to spend all of your time with them. That’s not the same as defending your side of the bed in a marriage.
Credit Where It’s Due
When it comes to maintaining a happy marriage, it’s common to divide household responsibilities. However, just because you’re required to do something doesn’t mean you don’t want to be recognized for it.
Credit Where It’s Due
Husbands like this one want to make sure their wives are aware of their efforts. He even employs a tried-and-true strategy to help him. If you make a little more noise than is necessary, everyone in the area will know exactly what you’re doing and how helpful you are.
Spilling Secrets to Mom
Having children brings with it a plethora of new responsibilities. One thing that many husbands overlook until it’s too late is that their children will not keep their secrets! This means that if you’re sneaking a snack behind your spouse’s back, you should probably avoid bringing your kids along.
Spilling Secrets to Mom
Otherwise, they might just tell their other parents that you were eating pie straight from the tin, as this husband did. When this wife walked in, it was obviously still going on.
Belonging to Whom?
There are certain concepts that people share once they marry. If one person previously owned a pet, for example, that pet remains in both people’s lives. You could even adopt a pet as a couple!
Belonging to Whom?
On the other hand, shared ownership can have disadvantages at times. It makes it simple for this husband to choose whether to refer to the cat as his or his wife’s. It’s a simple rule: if the cat is behaving and cute, it’s his.
Excited for the Little Things
Being married has the advantage of allowing you to share life’s special moments with someone close to you. This holds true even as the definition of a “special moment” evolves over time.
Excited for the Little Things
You might not consider purchasing a new area rug when you’re younger. Finding the perfect area rug, on the other hand, becomes increasingly important as you get older and try to make your home exactly how you want it. We’re glad these two are so enthusiastic!
A Little Lost
When you meet someone for the first time or start dating, your texts can be all over the place. In the process, you might learn a lot about each other!
A Little Lost
However, once you’re married, you’re probably not texting each other every day to get to know each other. On the contrary, you may find yourself sending the same messages more frequently than you anticipated. Simply asking where everyone is in a store will consume a significant portion of your conversation.
Coming to an Agreement
Compromise is the key to a happy marriage. Wives and husbands all over the world are frequently debating what they want as a couple. After all, you’re not going to agree on everything all of the time.
Coming to an Agreement
You may even find yourself employing some movie techniques to ensure that you reach a fair agreement. Sending each other mysterious notes can also emphasize the gravity of the situation. After all, negotiating a thermostat isn’t something to take lightly!
Voice of Disapproval
Couples spend a lot of time together. As a result, it’s understandable that they can communicate without having to say exactly what they mean all of the time. In his tweet, this husband gave a great example of this.
Voice of Disapproval
While his wife didn’t say he needed to change, he understood exactly what she was asking. He was ready to change when she expressed her dissatisfaction with his choice of attire. At the very least, she averted a fashion disaster for him.
Have Some Cake
Being an adult has many advantages, one of which is the ability to make your own decisions. This is something that many husbands and wives agree on when it comes to putting these ideas into action.
Have Some Cake
When this husband first arrived home to find the cake, he was confused as to why the cake was required. It was probably thrilling to discover that he hadn’t forgotten anything and that everything had been done to satisfy his wife’s cake craving. We’re glad they both learned something from it!
The Ultimate Crime
It’s something we’ve all seen in movies or on TV. Fictional wives are suspicious of their husbands and hire private investigators to track them down and find out the truth.
The Ultimate Crime
This husband believes his wife will learn something, but it will not be what she expects. She’d probably catch him lying about using coupons she’d saved for him instead of learning about a steamy double life. Even if it’s tame, we’re sure she wouldn’t be pleased!
There’s a Catch Here
If you’re married, you’ve probably imagined what it’ll be like to spend time with your partner in the future. You might even consider spending your golden years together. When she shared her vision of their golden years together, this was her wife.
There’s a Catch Here
However, we must admit that the husband did make a valid point about this retirement fantasy. Why does he have no recollection of any of the stories he’s heard over the years? Was his deteriorating health a figment of his imagination?
Seems Suspicious
Even if you’re married, you might have something on your mind that you don’t immediately tell your partner about. This can sometimes leave husbands perplexed and worried about what will happen next.
Seems Suspicious
This husband used the example of accidentally catching his wife measuring a wall while going about her daily routine. Knowing that this was usually followed by renovation, he had an understandable first reaction. Whatever was going on was almost certainly going to cost money.
About That To-Do List…
When husband and wife divide responsibilities, it only works if they both follow through on them. Otherwise, the other person will have to do more work. Even so, everyone has a day when they don’t complete everything they set out to do.
About That To-Do List…
You may need to explain yourself if someone else is counting on you to complete their tasks. At the very least, an explanation is required. This husband has most likely perfected this impressive and tragic story!
The Classic Line
As previously stated, as a relationship progresses and you grow closer, the way you communicate changes. However, it isn’t always just husbands and wives who have deep secrets. They don’t always exchange messages that are heartfelt expressions of love or confessions of deep secrets.
The Classic Line
Sometimes all you need to know is whether or not to go to the grocery store. In fact, according to this husband, that’s how you’ll spend the majority of your time with your spouse. It’s a cycle that will go on and on until the end of time!
What Do You Want?
There’s something to be said for taking the advice of people who have been married for a long time and have had a happy marriage. They’ve demonstrated that they can make their own relationship work, at least for a while!
What Do You Want?
Fortunately, husbands take to Twitter to offer some sound advice. This husband, for example, had some advice for a spouse who tells you that you can do whatever you want. He wants to make sure that everyone understands that this permission isn’t what it appears to be.
Sharing Secrets
A variety of activities can be used to wind down at the end of the day together. You and your partner may discuss your day, have a deeper discussion, or simply share a joke.
Sharing Secrets
You might want to tell your spouse a secret or confess something at other times. At the end of the day, this husband had the most innocent confession to make to his wife. On the other hand, perhaps she’s supposed to be as taken aback as we are.
It’s All Coming Together
Maintaining a budget is an excellent way to maximize the amount of money you save on a regular basis. However, this does not imply that it is an easy step, and it is all too easy to get off track.
It’s All Coming Together
On that note, it can be tempting to never start saving money and instead cut back on all spending. Even so, keeping an eye on things is a good idea. You must also see the bright side of things. So, why don’t you pay attention to how good you are with money?
Unfortunate Timing
You’re bound to make a mistake if you spend a lot of time with the same person. That person is likely to remind you from time to time because they are so close to you.
Unfortunate Timing
If it’s a big mistake, they might not give you much of a chance to forget it. This husband’s fatal mistake was screaming in pain from a paper cut that would not have been as bad if his wife hadn’t been in labor. She’s not going to let him forget it anytime soon, either.
Stopping a Fashion Disaster
In general, you should always try to solve your problems through meaningful conversation. In his tweet, this husband offered a rather amusing alternative. This wife appears to be helpful at first glance.
Stopping a Fashion Disaster
In fact, she could be assisting by putting a stop to her husband’s fashion misdeeds. In any case, she managed to persuade him that he shouldn’t wear sandals to a tie-in event. If nothing else, she clearly made her point.
Dividing Fries
It’s not unusual for couples to share their possessions. That isn’t to say that everything is intended for them to share all of the time. You must draw some lines in the sand to maintain the peace.
Dividing Fries
Allowing your wife to eat a few of your fries, for example, is a thoughtful gesture. Taking a few of her fries without her permission, on the other hand, might not have the same positive outcome. Before stealing fries in general, it’s best to ask!
Results of Teamwork
In many people’s lives, their spouse also serves as the child’s other parent. In these cases, raising a child together has resulted in a unique relationship. One aspect of this is making a concerted effort to ensure that your child is well-behaved in public.
Results of Teamwork
We can’t blame these parents for being ecstatic when they hear crying that isn’t their child’s. To put it another way, they are not to blame for the disruption at that time.
A Grave Mistake
Even though most couples hope for a long and happy marriage, divorce is always a possibility. It’s fascinating to speculate on what might be the final straw for a particular couple.
A Grave Mistake
This husband issued a warning on Twitter. When it came to toys in cereal boxes, he could work through just about anything with his wife, but there was no going back. He’d have no choice but to leave without them. At the very least, he’s honest about it.
Not the Best Way to Relax
Weekends become increasingly important as you get older. After all, that’s when most people get to unwind and unwind from their jobs. As a result, you’ll want to make the most of your weekends by doing what you want.
Not the Best Way to Relax
This may entail occasionally stating your position on potential plans. This husband could have prefaced his sentiments a little better, but at the very least he was expressing his feelings about the plans.
Knowing the Lore
A lot of people share interests with their spouses. On the other hand, it’s fascinating to see where husbands’ and wives’ viewpoints diverge. What is the exact point at which one must draw the line?
Knowing the Lore
This husband’s response to this question was fairly pop culture. Star Wars has become a cultural phenomenon that many people adore, despite the fact that not everyone is aware of it. So, if someone asks who Yoda is or fails to distinguish him from the popular character from The Mandalorian, you might be caught off guard.
Keeping the Spark Alive
You must find a way to keep the spark alive in your marriage. Some couples rely on text messages to keep each other happy and maintain the romance in their relationship.
Keeping the Spark Alive
As your life progresses, you and your spouse may decide to change what messages you and your spouse receive. For example, how about taking pictures of the toilet seat and sending them to each other so you can find a suitable replacement? We’re sure there’s something thrilling about updating any aspect of your home.
I Can’t Do It
Being married means you don’t want anything bad to happen to your partner. To be fair, there are numerous ways for husbands to express their feelings. As this husband points out, one of the most difficult tests is when a bee lands on your spouse’s arm.
I Can’t Do It
You have a choice once you’ve rolled up the newspaper in your hands. Will you swat the bee away from your partner or will you use this as an opportunity to yell a warning?
Considering Her Advice
Someone who spends as much time with you as your spouse is bound to learn a lot about you. They may even have the opportunity to caution you about your own bad habits.
Considering Her Advice
Of course, that advice is only useful if you follow it. This husband tells the story of a situation in which it was simply too tempting to listen to his wife first. After all, even if your keys are in jeopardy, who can resist the allure of a ball pit?
Don’t Fall for That
There are numerous stories of husbands and wives promising not to buy each other anything for major holidays and occasions. Nonetheless, there’s always the possibility that you should get a present.
Don’t Fall for That
That’s exactly what this husband did on Twitter to warn everyone or, at the very least, make people think about those who made a bad decision. It could make for a tense Christmas if they misunderstood the conversation or if their communication with their spouse was unclear.
Better to Be Prepared
The last thing any husband wants to do is forget about his or her spouse’s anniversary. Everyone has a different method of remembering things, from memorizing it to setting a calendar alarm.
Better to Be Prepared
Although this husband may not have chosen the best method, it would undoubtedly work! Every morning, wishing your wife a happy anniversary would ensure that you didn’t forget the occasion. The wife is correct in that it detracts from the romance of the situation.
Let Him Be Pretty
Even after all these years, many married couples still use different hygiene products. This is due to the fact that they may have different requirements and even preferences, such as the scents used in your products.
Let Him Be Pretty
Every now and then, it’s tempting to steal a few of your spouse’s nice products. This husband couldn’t help himself from trying out his wife’s expensive shampoo. Unfortunately, the results were so impressive that he couldn’t keep his new routine a secret any longer.
Practicing Those Puns
Dad jokes are nothing new. From another perspective, it appears that husbands are quite adept at slipping in the occasional pun or literal joke. One husband provides a good example.
Practicing Those Puns
His wife only wanted some milk from the store, but it also opened the door to a comedy hour. We’re hoping he didn’t crack this joke and then completely forget to get the milk, because that wouldn’t go over well.
Someone to Ask the Real Questions
When you have a spouse, you can turn to someone you care about when you’re feeling down. You can seek their advice or simply vent to them. This person’s wife was there to support them when they were down one night.
Someone to Ask the Real Questions
We’re glad, too, because it appears that he was considering something that raises an interesting question. What meaning does Monday have for a cat? If Monday was another day off for Garfield, could his wife explain why he was so upset?
Petty Revenge
It’s the best way to talk about any issues you’re having with your spouse. Even so, a little petty vengeance can be appealing from time to time. This husband figured out exactly what would be the best form of retaliation.
Petty Revenge
Nothing irritates his wife more than a messed-up Pinterest board. What will she do with all of those horribly average cupcake recommendations? Even if it is a little immature, a few mediocre pins might not be the worst thing that could happen.
Almost Had It
Grocery shopping is something that everyone does in their own unique way. If you don’t do much grocery shopping, you might be surprised at how much your spouse spends. This means that when you go grocery shopping, you have the opportunity to show that your method is superior.
Almost Had It
When he spent significantly less money, this husband thought he’d nailed it. He found out why his wife put so much money into their weekly grocery bill a few hours later.
Morning Routines
There is a morning routine for everyone. Maybe you have a cup of coffee every day or make it a point to sit and relax for a few minutes before heading out the door to face the day.
Morning Routines
This husband described a fairly common part of his daily routine. After all, he sees his wife every day, so a tearful farewell every morning is unnecessary. When you have to leave, it’s much more difficult to simply say goodbye to a sweet puppy.
Be Honest
Your wedding day is a monumental occasion in your life. It’s one of those days that most people rank alongside events such as the birth of their children as the best day of their lives.
Be Honest
When asked, this person had something else on their mind. We can’t say we blame them; getting more bang for your buck is a great feeling. We believe he made the correct decision in not sharing his feelings with the group!